Change your mind to a better person. Improve your state of happiness. Being positive result in happiness. So be happy!

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Maximise your social potential!

Have you ever find yourself being outcasted?
Do you find it hard to communicate with people?
Do you wish everyone would listen to you?
Do you want to feel good?

Well...maximise your social potential!

Let me tell you why.

Have you come across a person who is so naturally friendly that when you put him inside a room of strangers, he'll be friends with almost everyone in no time? We call such a people-person, someone unbelievably nice and charismatic that he can charm anyone into doing anything.

Let's take for an example the radio DJs you hear on the radio. Why do you think he earns a lot of support from his listeners? You guess it, by socialising with them!

A socially-empowered person achieves so much greatness, basically because of the people that catapult him to success. He earns the trust and all-out support of the people, whom he had helped before. He never runs out of help. He can do anything with the plethora of people behind him.

1. Be Sincere
Hypocrisy will just bring you all the way down. Be sincerely nice and interested to people. Once they perceive that you are Mr. Hypocrite with selfish intentions, you might as well say goodbye to self-empowerment.

2. Listen, not hear
To be liked and trusted by people, listen to their problems and sympathize with them. Do not just hear them out, listen to them with your heart. Make eye contact when the person talks to you. Listen as if every word matters, and it does. Brownie points when they find out that there is a confidant in you.

3. Laugh out loud
I don't mean you force yourself to laugh for every joke cracked by someone, even though you do not find it funny at all (be sincere).This means finding humor in things and not being very serious. A person oozing with an awesome sense of humor attracts crowds and eventually, attracts success.

4. Remember self.
Do not let anyone push you over in the process of socialising. Remember, you have to love and value yourself first before others. If you consider yourself to be respectable and worthy of affection, people will flock to you and not trample on you.

5. Do random acts of kindness.
Small acts of kindness matters the most, and this can be as simple as offering someone a bite of your crackers or offering elderly a seat in the train.

6. Contact your old friends.
Sad how some friendships are destined to goodbye, but thanks to technology, you can do something about it. Relive the good old days by flipping your yearbook and look for the great people whom you want to communicate with again. Adding these old friends to your roster of support peers will surely make you feel good all over.

7. Develop your personality.
Get rid of the bad traits and habits that perpetually hamper your growth. If you like to complain, easily angered and gloomy, then you definitely need to change your characters and habits. No one wants a grouchy friend!

8. Be confident
Be able to walk to the other corner of the room and introduce yourself to people with that winning smile of yours. Just remember: be confident, not arrogant.

9. Practice control.
When angry, don't snap at anyone. Never throw a tantrum. Stay calm and collected. Be adult enough to take control of situation and transform your anger into something more productive and passive. As soon as people think your anger goes to volcanic proportions easily, they will find it hard to come to you.

10. Keep nurturing your relationships.
Your relationship with your family, friends and significant others is too precious that you must not neglect it whatever happens. Go out and have fun with them. Do things together. Happiness will never fly from your side as long as the people who matter the most are close to you.
In the end, using people for self-empowerment means becoming a better and more lovable person. It's a win-win situation: the people know they can turn to you anytime and vice versa.

Saturday, December 22, 2007


I just came back from my part time job. Something happened in the workplace that made me want to write an entry about being a leader.

What actually happen was an argument of who is to be the captain (aka leader) of the front house crew. My manager has assigned one of my colleague(A) to be the leader. It was all going well until another colleague(B) of mine found out who that she is not the leader. She argued with the manager... and eventually she became the leader instead.

Well because of that I did a little research of being a leader.

I believe that great leaders are made, not born. Yes, it may be true that some people are born with natural talents. However, without practice, without drive, without enthusiasm, and without experience, there can be no true development in leadership.
You must also remember that good leaders are continually working and studying to improve their natural skills. This takes a commitment to constantly improve in whatever endeavor a person chooses.

Alright, let's define leadership. To be a leader, one must be able to influence others to accomplish a goal, or an objective. He contributes to the organization and cohesion of a group.
Contrary to what most people believe, leadership is not about power. It is not about harassing people or driving them using fear. It is about encouraging others towards the goal of the organization. It is putting everyone on the same page and helping them see the big picture of the organization. You must be a leader not a boss.

First of all, you have to get people to follow you. How is this accomplished?
People follow others when they see a clear sense of purpose. People will only follow you if they see that you know where you are heading. Remember that bumper sticker? The one that says, don't follow me, I'm lost too? The same holds true for leadership. If you yourself do not know where you're headed to, chances are people will not follow you at all.

You yourself must know the vision of the organization. Having a clear sense of hierarchy, knowing who the bosses are, who to talk to, the organization's goals and objectives, and how the organization works is the only way to show others you know what you are doing.
Being a leader is not about what you make others do. It's about who you are, what you know, and what you do. You are a reflection of what you're subordinates must be.

Studies have shown that one other factors of good leadership is the trust and confidence your subordinates have of you. If they trust you they will go through hell and high water for you and for the organization.

Trust and confidence is built on good relationships, trustworthiness, and high ethics.
The way you deal with your people, and the relationships you build will lay the foundation for the strength of your group. The stronger your relationship, the stronger their trust and confidence is in your capabilities.

Once you have their trust and confidence, you may now proceed to communicate the goals and objectives you are to undertake.

Communication is a very important key to good leadership. Without this you can not be a good leader. The knowledge and technical expertise you have must be clearly imparted to other people.

Also, you can not be a good leader and unless you have good judgment. You must be able to assess situations, weigh the pros and cons of any decision, and actively seek out a solution.
It is this judgment that your subordinates will come to rely upon. Therefore, good decision-making is vital to the success of your organization.

Leaders are not do-it-all heroes. You should not claim to know everything, and you should not rely upon your skills alone.

You should recognize and take advantage of the skills and talents your subordinates have. Only when you come to this realization will you be able to work as one cohesive unit.
Remember being a leader takes a good deal of work and time. It is not learned overnight. Remember, also, that it is not about just you. It is about you and the people around you.

So, do you have the drive and the desire to serve required of leaders?
Do you have the desire to work cooperatively with other people?

With that, I made a mindmap on 'Leader'.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Martial Arts

In my first post, I have talk about my interest in Martial Arts.
Many people do not like the pain that one has to go through when attending martial art classes.
The stretching exercises might be too tough for some to handle. I have suffered and endured the pain myself but I feel good after doing those exercises. Do not think splits and high kicks were possible when only trained from young. I have seen friends, age of 17-20, who were once very stiff has become good at splits as if they were trained from young! It is all about stretching.

The body is flexible. It is supposed to be flexible. You must be able to bend and reach that something you dropped on the floor. You must be able to zip the back of your favorite dress on your own. You must be able to reach that book you need to read at the top shelf.
These are simple activities. Nothing grand about them, you merely stretched out a bit.
However the extent of stretching and flexing differs. The muscles tighten as a person ages. The range of joint movements can be minimized. This can very well obstruct an on-the-go lifestyle. That is why as the person grows older, bending or flexing becomes more limited. This is why stretching regularly, as part of a routine is very important.

What Is Stretching?
Stretching is simply the act of extending to full length the body or simply a part of it. This activity involves straightening or stretching the structure or the limbs.

What Are the Benefits of Stretching?

1. Increase the Range of Movement
As one constantly do the stretching exercises, the length of the muscles and the tendons are also increased. This will help in increasing the range of your movement. Thus, the limbs and joints will be able to move, way before an injury can take place. You are definitely physically fit.

2. Increased Ability to Perform Skills
When you have a wide range of movement, the more you will be able to do more things. For example, you can jump high without feeling any pain when you land back on the floor. This will also help you start a new sport or improve more if you are in one. Stretching in this aspect also allows you to have a more active lifestyle.

3. Injury Prevention
One can prevent injury to joints, tendons and muscles with stretching. When the muscles and tendons are well-flexed, they are considered in good working order. This will help in a faster recovery and decreased soreness. The muscles of the body will be able to take more exhausting and rigorous movements with less probability of being injured.

4. Reduce Muscle Tension (my favourite)
If the muscles are given their regular exercises and stretching, it is less likely that they will contract. This will definitely relieve you of any muscle pain or problems.

5. Enhance Energy
Being able to move more will also give you more energy. Stretching will also help enhance your awareness, like knowing that you have a body that is capable of doing many things. As such, you are going to be more driven to move rather than sulk in the corner.

6. Reduces Cholesterol
Research also shows that doing prolonged stretching exercises, like yoga, will help reduce the cholesterol in the body. This of course must be done with a healthy diet at hand. This could prevent and even reverse the hardening of the arteries, allowing you to avoid coronary diseases.
Incorporate stretching in your everyday lifestyle. It has benefits you can not say no to. It also does not require much. It can be your usual activities, bending and flexing every now and then. After all, your fitness is everything so do what it takes to keep the body healthy.

New Challenges

Everyone faces challenges. Challenges help you to feel good about yourself. It is fun.
However, what is there are TOO MUCH challenges?

Stress is the curse of living in modern times. Everyone suffers from stress. And the stress we suffer takes a heavy toll on our bodies, emotions and minds.
Feeling stressed out, worn out by fatigue or just simply having a miserable day, the best thing to do is relax.

Watching television may be a form of relaxation for some, but is not a recommended method by experts. When we watch TV we are bombarded with commercials, ads, sounds and images. So how do we achieve relaxation? If there are thousands of ways we can get stressed, one of them is not meeting deadlines, there are also many ways we can relax.

In recent studies, experts have determined that heart disease is linked to anger and irritability is linked to mental stress. Too much stress brings about ischemia that can lead to or cause a heart attack. Relaxation takes on added importance in light of this matter. Managing your anger and attitude is significant to heart health, and relaxation can help you manage stress.
One way of relaxation is transcendental meditation. Recent studies have also shown that this method might reduce artery blockage, which is a major cause for heart attack and stroke. People practice transcendental meditation by repeating uttering soothing sounds while meditating, this is to achieve total relaxation. The researchers found that practitioners of transcendental meditation significantly reduced the thickness of their arterial wall compared with those who didn't practice transcendental meditation.

Another study on another method of relaxation, acupuncture, seems to reduce high blood pressure by initiating several body functions for the brain to release chemical compounds known as endorphins. Endorphin helps to relax muscles, ease panic, decrease pain, and reduce anxiety.
Yoga is also another method for relaxation and may also have similar effects like acupuncture. In another study, participants were subjected to several minutes of mental stress. Then they were subjected to various relaxation techniques, such as listening to nature sounds or classical music. Only those who did Yoga significantly reduced the time it took for their blood pressures to go back to normal. Yoga is a form of progressive relaxation.

Breathing is one of the easiest methods to relax. Breathing influences alamost all aspects of us, it affects our mind, our moods and our body. Simply focus on your breathing, after some time you can feel its effects right away.

There are several breathing techniques that can help you reduce stress.
Another easy way to achieve relaxation is exercise. If you feel irritated a simple half-hour of exercise will often settle things down. Although exercise is a great way to lose weight, it does not show you how to manage stress appropriately. Exercise should also be used in conjunction with other exercise method.

One great way of relaxation is getting a massage. To gain full relaxation, you need to totally surrender to the handling and touch of a professional therapist.
There are several types of massages that also give different levels of relaxation.

Hypnosis is one controversial relaxation technique. It is a good alternative for people who think that they have no idea what it feels like to be relaxed. It is also a good alternative for people with stress related health problems.

These relaxation techniques are just some of the ways you can achieve relaxation. Another reason why we need to relax, aside from lowering blood pressure in people and decreasing the chances of a stroke or a heart attack, is because stress produces hormones that suppress the immune system, relaxation gives the immune system time to recover and in doing so function more efficiently.

Relaxation lowers the activities within the brains' limbic system; this is the emotional center of our brain.

Furthermore, the brain has a periodic need for a more pronounced activity on the right-hemisphere. Relaxation is one way of achieving this.
Relaxation can really be of good use once a relaxation technique is regularly built into your lifestyle. Choose a technique that you believe you can do regularly and has a stress-free life. :P

Positive Mindset

How did I get influence by this?

It all start when I was 15 years old. In a school where I often hear the words, “Stressed”, “I am so stupid”, “I am ‘blur’” and more negative remarks. However, these students were usually better than me in almost all field – academically, physically, etc. Therefore, I got irritated by their self-deprecations. They make me feel even worse than a dunce. I wanted to succeed too.
And I DO NOT want them to be so ignorant.

So I decided to start with myself. I begin going to libraries in search of books regarding on success in academic. I even bought severals and did some internet research. I came across Tony Buzan - mindmapping methods, linear notes, audios and many more.
From there I went to read stories of successful men and various methods were apply to lead them to success.
However, all these guides and stories have one 'thing' in common, that is being positve.

During my last year in that school, there was this special occasion where students get a chance to experience public speaking. Several students were being selected to give a speech to the whole cohort. I was one of them. Among the selected students, only I was the most enthusiastic one. I went for rehearsal even before I was ask to come. I just could not wait to share, and hopefully influence, my knowledge of the road to success to the whole school.

After my speech, I receive many feedbacks from teachers about several good remarks about me. The one that I am proud of the most is my voice.

Even up to these days, I uses these guide to lead to my life.

Here are some of the ideas that I used on my speech(below):

*Stop thinking and feeling as if you’re a failure, because you’re not. How can others accept you if YOU can’t accept YOU?

*When you see hunks and models on TV, think more on self improvement, not self pitying. Self acceptance is not just about having nice slender legs, or great abs. Concentrate on inner beauty.

*When people feel so down and low about themselves, help them move up. Don’t go down with them. They’ll pull you down further and both of you will end up feeling inferior.

*The world is a large room for lessons, not mistakes. Don’t feel stupid and doomed forever just because you failed on a science quiz. There’s always a next time. Make rooms for self improvement.

*Take things one at a time. You don’t expect black sheep’s to be goody-two-shoes in just a snap of a finger. Self improvement is a one day at a time process.

*Self improvement results to inner stability, personality development and dig this …. SUCCESS. It comes from self confidence, self appreciation and self esteem.

* Set meaningful and achievable goals. Self improvement doesn’t turn you to be the exact replica of Cameron Diaz or Ralph Fiennes. It hopes and aims to result to an improved and better YOU.

About Myself

Just a little introduction about myself. I am Halim and is currently in Singapore. I am a student in Republic polytechnic, taking Diploma in Interactive and Digital Media. I believe that positive mindset is always the first step to the finishing line.
In this campus, I join the Wushu Interest Group(IG) which is mostly about chinese martial arts. It is not really what I wanted but the acrobatics movements are the one that drive me to joining this IG. Outside the campus, I am also a student of Ninja-do. I love ninjutsu - the art of stealth and assasinations. However, my purpose of joining martial arts is just to symbolised myself and be physically healthy.